Being the third part of six parts. "How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently.. ."

<-How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently, dying to do it again. (The salt is in full effect now. It is like 20 minutes after surfing---you feel the crackle with each movement.)>
(Sorry Ms. Ryan, a ‘2nd person’ word slipped in there…)


Let it be known that I will not be slicing my chest open from the bottom up with my ginsu knife and dumping my heart on the keyboard. If a hot cup of tea, grandmother’s afghan and this blog are at hand with the expectation of reveling in me spilling the beans over my demise…I am sorry to disappoint. Although, It can be hoped that something mildly entertaining will emerge for the reader…but no money back guarantee will be made. (The best part of a blog is that a thesis is not required to be in this exact location.)

Now, A.D.D.-boy, to the task at hand; the messy business of love, the wake of destruction it deals and the peace of wisdom it plants. (Is this an adolescent thesis? Let us hope not.)

If one were to tell me that they were an expert on the subject of love, I would tell them were they could find the door. As far as I can surmise, there is only one supreme authority on the subject and He is not fleshy and boney as one might wish. There are however many false prophets of love who will ‘tell you lies, tell you sweet little lies.’ Chiefly one’s self is the leader of this cult.

Since we do not have an authority on love to stipulate ‘this is exactly what love is; this is how it looks’ or to stipulate, ‘in your specific relationship, yes, you have love.’ To have someone say, nearly like a doctor’s, ‘yes, you have shingles,’ regarding your relationship would be convenient in some instances. While we do not have this doctor, we do have the book of I John; an excellent test strip. Does it turn purple, is it acidic, is it basic? To temper one’s own personal David Koresh with I John is never a bad habit to get into, nor is it ever too late to begin the process.

(This is one ugly disjointed bit of garble…I too see it.)

Now that I have a handful of qualifiers, which is generally my style, I can get to a slightly more personal set of thoughts. Without having a clear vision of what ‘falling in love’ really looks like, it seems foolish to make the quoted statement I opened with. Not only does it seem foolish, it is foolish. How can I claim to have done something which I know next to nothing about? I can sooner claim that winning the world series was fantastic than falling in love was stupid, for I am as near to knowing what winning the world series feels like as I am to being certain what love feels like, much less whether the action was stupid or not. There are some truths to be found in the ruble of a relationship as mine; always a perk. When the fire-fighter pulls the baby out from a little cave of smash concrete and the wonder of how did she survive is on everyone’s mind…that is the feeling I am talking about.

Falling in love, which is what I will call my experience though the past few paragraphs would take issue with it, yet for my part I contend it was a love, was not stupid. The knee jerk reaction at the end is to call it stupid because the tearing hurts greatly. While the love itself may well be very ‘unhealthy’ for the person, which in my case it was, the healing is so much more than healthy.

It is growing, it is not merely healing. Love takes a person who is idling along in life, and uses a series of events to break the person of what seemed ‘healthy’ at a time, and re-work them into something more grand than they ever could have achieved ‘with or with out you {her}.’ This concept of the Authority, Love, using all things for good is new to some and old hat to others. May it be new to all in this instance, the old hattedness is David Koresh killing what issues that need breaking and reworking.

I have not done this topic justices. After two days of wrestling with it, I have determined this is not the proper medium to dissect this subject.