Saturday, September 20, 2008

Being the third part of six parts. "How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently.. ."

<-How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently, dying to do it again. (The salt is in full effect now. It is like 20 minutes after surfing---you feel the crackle with each movement.)>
(Sorry Ms. Ryan, a ‘2nd person’ word slipped in there…)

Let it be known that I will not be slicing my chest open from the bottom up with my ginsu knife and dumping my heart on the keyboard. If a hot cup of tea, grandmother’s afghan and this blog are at hand with the expectation of reveling in me spilling the beans over my demise…I am sorry to disappoint. Although, It can be hoped that something mildly entertaining will emerge for the reader…but no money back guarantee will be made. (The best part of a blog is that a thesis is not required to be in this exact location.)

Now, A.D.D.-boy, to the task at hand; the messy business of love, the wake of destruction it deals and the peace of wisdom it plants. (Is this an adolescent thesis? Let us hope not.)

If one were to tell me that they were an expert on the subject of love, I would tell them were they could find the door. As far as I can surmise, there is only one supreme authority on the subject and He is not fleshy and boney as one might wish. There are however many false prophets of love who will ‘tell you lies, tell you sweet little lies.’ Chiefly one’s self is the leader of this cult.

Since we do not have an authority on love to stipulate ‘this is exactly what love is; this is how it looks’ or to stipulate, ‘in your specific relationship, yes, you have love.’ To have someone say, nearly like a doctor’s, ‘yes, you have shingles,’ regarding your relationship would be convenient in some instances. While we do not have this doctor, we do have the book of I John; an excellent test strip. Does it turn purple, is it acidic, is it basic? To temper one’s own personal David Koresh with I John is never a bad habit to get into, nor is it ever too late to begin the process.

(This is one ugly disjointed bit of garble…I too see it.)

Now that I have a handful of qualifiers, which is generally my style, I can get to a slightly more personal set of thoughts. Without having a clear vision of what ‘falling in love’ really looks like, it seems foolish to make the quoted statement I opened with. Not only does it seem foolish, it is foolish. How can I claim to have done something which I know next to nothing about? I can sooner claim that winning the world series was fantastic than falling in love was stupid, for I am as near to knowing what winning the world series feels like as I am to being certain what love feels like, much less whether the action was stupid or not. There are some truths to be found in the ruble of a relationship as mine; always a perk. When the fire-fighter pulls the baby out from a little cave of smash concrete and the wonder of how did she survive is on everyone’s mind…that is the feeling I am talking about.

Falling in love, which is what I will call my experience though the past few paragraphs would take issue with it, yet for my part I contend it was a love, was not stupid. The knee jerk reaction at the end is to call it stupid because the tearing hurts greatly. While the love itself may well be very ‘unhealthy’ for the person, which in my case it was, the healing is so much more than healthy.

It is growing, it is not merely healing. Love takes a person who is idling along in life, and uses a series of events to break the person of what seemed ‘healthy’ at a time, and re-work them into something more grand than they ever could have achieved ‘with or with out you {her}.’ This concept of the Authority, Love, using all things for good is new to some and old hat to others. May it be new to all in this instance, the old hattedness is David Koresh killing what issues that need breaking and reworking.

I have not done this topic justices. After two days of wrestling with it, I have determined this is not the proper medium to dissect this subject.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


(Here is a thought I have been puttering around upon.)

I will now present to you the person who sees the 800-pound gorilla in the room and contrary to the actions of ALL THOSE around him, decides to poke her. Nay, poke is too kind a word; maybe it is more akin to running and tackling her off the bench were she so casually (pompously) slumbers.
As these words ensue, you will no doubt be whole-heartedly convinced that I am the lowest scum of the earth, a male chauvinist. And you may be right…or you may just be drinking the delicate, little lies that society nurses you…”A drink for me? No, no thank you. Okay, fine…if you insist…but just one…after all, you have always watched out for me my closest of friend (instructor or mentor,)” then two…then three…then, “Oh, what the heck? Just get me a societal lies beer-bong and lets have at it…IT TASTES SO GOOD!”

(Find someone that knows me well and ask them if I am a chauvinist, if you have the gumption . If they answer ‘yes,’ then I am and you are simultaneously vindicated for the moment, if they answer ‘no,’…well then you – actually - never-mind.)

Were I a demon I would find the work of satan in the 20th century, literally, awe inspiring. I would have no choice but to redouble my efforts to be a better, more cunning tempter with his resume of astounding recent work so near at hand. I do not call upon the World Wars, The Islam explosion, extermination of over 6 million children of Israel, Roe Vs. Wade, gay marriage, (am I touching anything hot yet?) the genocides in Africa or even AIDS…all fantastic pieces of work to be sure; well done, but alas, not nearly my point. While these are, as I have stated, fantastic works for the kingdom of darkness, they are all very obvious, very plain, very common, more or less everyday, run of the mill, evil vehicles. From the prince of the power of the air one must expect better. Better is there, and it is so much better that it goes unnoticed by and large. Herein lies the brilliance, the cunning.
If you want to lead someone astray, you do not stand on the street shouting it…contrary to the “turn or burn” talking billboard peoples’ method. Instead you slowly curve the road, you move comfortable landmarks off the normal, “good” route, on to the “bad” route, but only by a few feet at first so that nothing “seems” to be amiss. Then, after some time, you move the landmark a bit further off, and so on and so forth, until you have this fellow who has been walking with his head down, heading back in the same direction he has just come. Two carefully placed items have yielded this complete failure. One is external and one is less external…to point fingers, the internal. The slickster whom moved the landmarks around is very external. Yet the fellow who is bombing along, not noticing that the Sun (Son) is no longer ahead of him - well - that is his own fault.

All of this is well and good to consider, though still not my specific point, merely the preface. Certainly there are a few of my 7 readers who are feeling no issue with what I have written thus far, and maybe there are one or two who think they know what I am angling at…I assure you, none of you have yet so see where I am going with this. (do not mistake that as prideful, did I not say she was sleeping and no one is poking her but me?) Likewise, while I will point out just one angle of the evil one I am certain that I am missing fifty thousand more cunning, better hidden, insanely more destructive ones that hover just beneath my nose. Begging forgiveness for the density of my mind; I humbly bring this thought to you.

I have in some ways dwelt upon this for a long time. Long in the sense that it came up long ago, and not long in the sense that I continually repress it for it bears a grotesque snout and reeks of death. If one were to ask me, in this moment, what is the single most destructive threat to Christian Unions today, I would firmly reply, “Feminism in some way shape of form” without a seconds worth of thought. (Let it rain, I can wear it, God has let heavier hammers fall upon me these past ten months) (Furthermore, I have read the dictionaries description of ‘feminism,’ and I see a glaring different one present by the culture as a whole. My discussion regards the 2nd of the two, The actual manifestation, not the cunning guise it masquerades around the square in, calling righteous people…’squares.’ She has another name in Proverbs; Folly. In the end, when you return whence you came, past all the moved landmarks, she will have you believe you do not need men - period. How cunning, how similar to a certain other spirit telling a certain other group they do not need Christ…isn’t it ironic…don’t ya’ think? Apparently, there are worse things than rain on your wedding day.)
This ideology is born upon many fronts, from the mass-media, to public education, et al. I have little concern with these aforementioned elements as they are not Chosen, they cannot be held to any standard, much less the one which I am preparing to draw. Shockingly (or maybe not so), when carefully reviewed, the finest level of installation occurs at our beloved “christian universities” (spell check has marked both of these as spelled incorrectly, I assure you, they are spelled correctly)
“We chose X university for our daughter because we wanted a good, christian framework for her to learn within, we did not want her surrounded by party animals that would no doubt have her turning tricks by thanksgiving,” said Bob the dad.
“Thank you Bob! (you moron)” quipped satan.
Cunning, I come back to the word because it is such a beautiful personification of a snake. Cunning professors feed our young women filth. Pigs have been cunningly done up with make-up, push-up bras, false lashes, etc. and our daughters have bought them hook, line and sinker. These pigs, these feministic ideals sold as “good, strong, christian womanhood,” will sooner have you reading any book written by anyone, as long as it is not the Bible. These cunning pig herders will gently instruct you to believe that there is nothing in the Bible that you cannot find in any other ‘good bit of literature that is not so antiquated.’ Allow a translation.
Cunning teacher: “Little girl, you are too dumb to decipher it, so why try? Here, read this one, it is much more ‘on your level’ ” (who is chauvinistic now?) Allow further translation.
Satan: “Teacher, you are only saving them a life of hardship by servitude to some evil “God Fearing Man”.”
Cunning teacher: “How right you are? Life is so unfair!”
Satan snickers:

I must confess, this is a dark piece of writing, one of the darkest I have ever put down. I did not choose this essay.

Strong Christian Womanhood has as much to do with ‘Feminism’ as a glowworm has to do with putting a man on the moon; possibly even less. Strong Christian Women will be formed in no other way then by an immersion in the Word, ceaseless pursing of Christ’s example, a humble and contrite heart, and an unparalleled prayer life. Tasty little books, written by ‘self-made, tumble-down women’ about the virtue of self would fall into the moved landmark category in my mind.
At this juncture I sit/sat and toy/ed with the need to place a series of biblical reference points to show the sad nature of feminism, the picture of Christ and the Church, the origin of Man and subsequently Woman…I have decided that I will not do so. After all, by doing this, would I not merely join those saying, “You, little girl, lack the discernment to do this yourself, therefore, I, MAN will show you,” which is exactly what I am trying to avoid?
If you are a woman, if you are aspiring to be a Woman of God, then seek! Show us! Do not sit around collecting your unemployment check while bemoaning how good the tax payers have it because they can afford a car…(to drive to and from work in, so that you do not have to)
Strong Women of God, just as strong men of God, are not strong due to the fact that they stand around like a pharisee, praying loudly in the temple or a friend’s eat-in kitchen, “Thank you God I am not like that sad woman over there that loves, honors and obeys her husband. Thank you that I know what is mine and I take it. Thank you that you have given me a mind that is vastly superior to so many others so that I can better worship you through my enormous spiritual gifts so bountifully bestowed on me. Thank you that I have insight far above the average man and that I am not afraid to use it. Please bless these common folk in their meager pursuits....” (you get the point)
SWoG are the ones that never HAVE to say anything, yet when the rubber meets the road, they DO comfort, they DO soundly advise, they DO sweep the floor and clean up puke. (Strong Men of God are called to many other similar and differing tasks that this diatribe will not touch; yet I am not ignorant to them nor will this pen spare them for long)


“So writer, I have chosen to go with you on this hooliganism for the present…what does it matter? So what if small ‘c’ christian women want to be feminist, who really gives a rip and what business is it of yours?”
I do! And, if you are truly a God fearing Christian you will have no choice but to do so as well. This is one of the most urgent matters of our time! I do not wish to spell this out, but I feel I must to be abundantly clear.

Feminism in a Christian woman CANNOT spiritually exist.

Feminism, even on the dictionary level which I find generous,
“the women's movement, the feminist movement, women's liberation, female emancipation, women's rights; informal women's lib.”
is no way, shape or form concerned with ‘dying to self.’ The sole concern IS self-promotion, self-service, and if I may be so bold, self-worship. It is no wonder that it has taken such flight, it only another, more P.C. name for Humanism. As I have noted, folly is cunning, she will dress as ‘seeking equality.’ Equality is in the eye of the beholder…it is an illusion. She is seeking promotion above all else because, ‘every little girl is a princess…’(am I right?).

(Again, I earnestly petition you to find a friend of mine and ask them my feelings regarding chivalry prior to burning me at the stake for being chauvinistic.) (you now may head down the road of chivalry IS chauvinistic. If that is your path…there is no helping you, best of luck in your endeavors.)

Now if we imagine that one could be a ‘C’hristian Feminist, which I contented you cannot be anymore than you can be a ‘C’hristian chauvinist, we have another bridge to cross. This bridge is that between Man and Woman.


Marriage happens – generally - after a certain amount of dating. Dating happens - generally - after an interest is formed between two ‘like-minded’ people to decide to have a go of making a union. This is a very loaded sentence that will require some digestion.
A union:
“unification, uniting, joining, merging, merger, fusion, fusing, amalgamation, coalition, combination, synthesis, blend, blending, mingling; marriage, wedding, alliance; coupling. antonym separation, parting.”
Well, that is quite a little bit to bite off. More over, it begs the question, how can so many of these qualities be met when one party is engaged in self-idolatry? The antonym seems more fitting; I mean she is seeking to rise correct? For one body to rise, one body must fall, in chemistry we would call the male body the precipitate, he must fall. It is simply a law of nature, oddly enough God wrote not only the laws of nature but also the laws of the heart. For a more comfortable Feminist sentence we could rework it to end with “…a go at engulfing and precipitating the male”? (If we have P.C. we may as well have F.C.)
“Like-minded” is our next victim. Given the general public’s understanding of women’s-lib, or feminism, I can only assume that a male with a ‘like-mind’ to a feminist is either a transvestite, or a gelding. In all seriousness though this, again, cannot exist due to the aforementioned idolatry point.
This is an extremely cursory view yet the loose threads are beginning to poke through already. How can a marriage be built upon this? How can one half of the union bear this mentality while the other half of the union is so dissimilar? I contest it cannot. Therefore, either there will be no marriages or there will be failed marriages. This begets no children, or mixed-up, non-Christ centered home children, respectively. This begets the cunning, efficient demise of the Church by…one marriage, two members…at…a…time.

“The safest road to hell is a gradual one – the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” ~C. S. Lewis



Being the second part of six parts. "That flipping map interactive thing of singles in the U.S..."

“ -“That flipping map interactive thing of singles in the U.S. that James sent me” (A very interesting map that allows you to see what the situation is like for single men or single women within a given age group, within a given area. A good friend of mine emailed it to me today and I found it very curious.) " (expounded)

With respect this blurb it will do the reader well to take 10 minutes and check out the noted web page above. Move the little slider at the top around, look at the trends, read his thoughts, or skip them…I will ramble on regardless.
(I am going to check my facebook while you look at that stuff. Meet me back here in a few.)

---Back. Are you now informed? Great, lets dive in.
I am going to be upfront with you, blunt. This will come as a great surprise in that I rarely ever speak my mind…er…nevermind. I am going to take the only natural stance for a 27 year-old, heterosexual male to take when faced with this data.

‘Girls have it made in the shade!!!’

Notice, “Gals: Do single young girls exist? Not according to math! Fact: around 1/3 of 20-24 year old women are married. Only 70% are single!
Guys: Again, fact: Only 1/5 of men are married by age 24. 80% single! Like suburban deer, there are too many of you in relation to your prey, and you're destroying each others' game. Older, wiser deer who don't spend their time doing kegstands are snapping up your lady-foliage.”

Our author has a style that differs slightly from my own, but his point is well made---aka. young women go for older men and older men for younger women, Fact.
I have done further digging into this topic, I felt the internet, though it has made fantastic advances in the subject, still could not be taken as gospel in the areas of anything. One particular study revealed a couple that divorced at about 35 years of age. Both partners have since remarried; interesting statistic that totally supports my theory commencing now. She re-married a man that was 11 years older than her while he re-married a woman that was 10 years his junior. “The defense rests.” (not really, I just have always wanted to say that.)

Now, it is a good time to interject the sentiment that I am not putting forth what is wrong or right, I am putting forth a thought, a suggestion, a recognition.

One could take this at face value; which I am greatly tempted to do because I am tired and I fell off my motorbike a few times today and (I have more excuses if need be). But, I have decided to toss up one more idea in this mix.

Why is this happening?

I have probably never asked such a ridiculous question. The answer, I think, is quite obvious (sorry dave, I had to).

The two parts of the ‘why’.
-Men are immature. (you can quote me on that one) It seems to me, being an expert on the matter after all I am a man or trying to be one, that men are very, utterly immature. It is genetic. It is innate at a chromosomal level; there is a small rider piece on the male DNA, that will be discovered in 2037, which will explain this in gory detail. (check back then for an in-depth ‘why men are so immature’ chromosome review) Seriously though, if you put the most ‘mature’ men of a given age group in a room with the most ‘mature’ women of the same age group I am quite convinced you would not see ‘connection’ on a relational level in the order that you would if you repeated the same experiment but replaced said males with the same type but of an age group 5-10 years senior.
-Or…perhaps due to the skyrocketing divorce rates in the U.S. (~50ish%) and the vast majority of children being raised by single mothers…there is a break-down in the female psyche, especially as it relates to men? Now, as previously stated, I am a man consequently not an expert by any means on women. I know this much about women; they are very complex organisms without a manual.

More than likely the above two thrown into a blender with some bananas and milk are the driving forces behind soma’s fancy-pants little graph and the conundrum facing people like me.

What is to be done about it?

Absolutely nothing. ☺



Saturday, September 13, 2008

Being the first part of six parts. “-How living in a van really would not be that bad.”

There are 6 finalists. Picking which animal I will attack first has not been an easy task--- As I have mentioned, inspiration comes and goes, and at the moment it is gone pretty much across the board. Like any muscle, my brain must be given a work out so I will select today’s subject at complete random.

-“That flipping map interactive thing of singles in the U.S. that James sent me” (A very interesting map that allows you to see what the situation is like for single men or single women within a given age group, within a given area. A good friend of mine emailed it to me today and I found it very curious.)
-Flickr and how if you are a girl you get hits much easier, esp. if you are doing a 365.
-How living in a van really would not be that bad.
-How I hate it when my boss treats me like I am a three year-old.
-How it bugs me that good things happen to bad people. (Clearly, I was getting saltier as the day wore on. I blame said map for acting as a catalyst.)
-How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently, dying to do it again. (The salt is in full effect now. It is like 20 minutes after surfing---you feel the crackle with each movement.)>

“-How living in a van really would not be that bad.” (expounded)

I cold brewed a bulk of Joe over the night and the aroma hangs heavily in the air between these brick walls.
Chicago has been rain soaked for a few days now and the humidity will not allow itself to dip below the 90th percentile.
I had a house showing today at 12:15 so I went out and about doing things that I pretended really needed doing, so my realtor could pretend she was doing something that really needed doing. I do not own an umbrella.
Recently, I had new kitchen counters installed. It cost thousands of dollars…for what? A thin horizontal slab located 18” below a set of boxes screwed to the wall, resting on another set of 36” tall boxes sitting on my kitchen floor. It is indefensible. I guess the upside is that said slab cost less than my yearly taxes…er wait…is that an upside? Okay, here must really be an upshot. With the use of a house, I can amass tons of possessions that is absolutely required to be happy, per the world both verbally and non-verbally.
The bathroom. This space solely earns its keep.


Friday, September 12, 2008

The Short-list. (of 091108)

I was sitting at a computer pining away for the better part of the day; all the while wishing I could be writing what I am setting about to put down now. I did not do it earlier because I was at work and like a good employee; I was working.
Now it is game time.
There is something to be said about “being in the moment”. I am now sitting, looking at this silver box, with a freshly cracked screen (don’t get me started on that) and I am having a hard time pulling my mind together. Not so much a hard time pulling it together, a hard time directing it into what I wish to gush about today. I am going to short list the topics, pick one and fire away. (This is why I am a project manager right? I am a trigger person…usually; in certain aspects of my life…sometimes…where was I? Ah yes, short listing.)

The short list:
-Sushi. (I am slow in coming to what is and what is not ‘in’…see dmb post below for better explanation…”Jesse welcome to the sushi party”…”Why thank you…wait, what is this? No, can you cook my fish please? Thanks.”)
-“That flipping map interactive thing of singles in the U.S. that James sent me” (A very interesting map that allows you to see what the situation is like for single men or single women within a given age group, within a given area. A good friend of mine emailed it to me today and I found it very curious.)
-My iPhone. (‘nuf said…amirite?)
-Flickr and how if you are a girl you get hits much easier, esp. if you are doing a 365.
-How living in a van really would not be that bad.
-How I hate it when my boss treats me like I am a three year-old.
-How it bugs me that good things happen to bad people. (Clearly, I was getting saltier as the day wore on. I blame said map for acting as a catalyst.)
-How falling in love was one of the, if not THE, stupidest things I have ever done, yet I am, apparently, dying to do it again. (The salt is in full effect now. It is like 20 minutes after surfing---you feel the crackle with each movement.)

Eight items on my short list. Now, if my memory serves me correctly that is just under the wire for maintaining ‘short list’ status. Had I hit nine two problems would have happened, well one actually, but it has two parts. I would have been bumped into ‘medium list’ status…and I do not have the bandwidth for that…crisis averted. (and I don’t even have a fancy suit for when I save the day…go figure.)

Of the eight, Sushi is the weakest link without question. I am sure there will be disagreement regarding that assertion; thankfully this is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship and I really don’t care what you think. Sushi out!!! (Three should suffice.)
My iPhone falls victim next. What a coward, I saw him hiding behind a Banzai roll holding a tube of wasabi…sheesh.
Only 6 remain…I wish votes could be phoned in or texts, or whatever anti-socially activity it is that you kids are doing these days. Of the remaining six I can make a compelling argument for each one, and I can blather on any of the topics for a length of time sufficient for a blog post.

(Insert jeopardy music here)

The solution is this. I will give a dedicated post to each of the remaining topics, one at a time.